The Dissolution of I

I saw a beautiful car. I pursued it, telling myself I would be satisfied if I had it. I saw a beautiful girl. I pursued her to make her mine. I was hungry. I went off in search of a delicious plate of food to be satisfied. When I got what I wanted, I said I want more. When I could not get it, I consoled myself by saying these things are not worth having, they are pointless anyway.

I wanted to be free of the grief, so I pursued liberation. I drew conclusions, this and that. The pursuit went on endlessly. Sometimes liberation. Sometimes money. Different objects, the same pursuit.

One day, the pursuit stopped, and a question arose. Who is the one who has been asking all along?

I looked at my hand. The hand did not say anything. I looked at my leg. It did not utter a word. I looked at my skin. It had no capacity to speak. I went through every part of the body. Not one could answer. Even the famous heart simply did its work and said nothing.

I wondered: who did all this pursuit? Who performed all this action? I, I said. But when I tried to find the exact location where the I belongs, it shifted each time I tried to catch hold of it. The act of catching itself moved it further away.

I came to a conclusion: what remained across every thought and every action was Awareness. The I-experience had never existed as a thing. It was only an aggregate, a kingdom built on the foundation of ignorance. And when Awareness hovers over that kingdom, it cannot hold its stability. The whole thing dissolves.

This conclusion dissolved my entire sense of being. The understanding that everything is happening because of me and for me has completely dissolved. Now action remains as the effect of previous action, or action arises independently.

Is this the Self which everyone speaks of?